Emailing You

from Bench, Lawnswood Park, Leeds

15 June. 12.35.

Exhausted!! Training morning for my girls at Lawnswood Salon – dumbos! Escaped here – private, sun, birds, flowers. Greg’s always at home, poking his nose in! Doesn’t trust me AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!!?

Yes, wonderful fortnight. Missing you like crazy. Keep thinking about – you know! Don’t forget!  Wish this laptop was interactive.  Touchy feely!

Friends 25 years! Longer than Greg.  Stupid man, can’t understand platonic friendship.  I hate jealousy.

Think if I hadn’t met Belly when both 11?  Me drainpipe, Belly fat little thing – well! She likes being called Belly by the way. Shall arrange friendship silver anniversary with her.

Luv as ever

20 June. 12.41

Teaching you a lesson? The cheek! So the Tart clears off, not saying where. Probably Jackie’s husband?  Breaking up people’s marriages is hateful. Why does the Tart mind you returned home to see us, especially me?  She’s Canadian, all her friends live close by. She should show love and understanding.  I would!!

I suggested Le Maison to your dear sister Isabelle for friendship anniversary, where the Georges Martin is restaurateur. You’ve been in Canada too long (FAR TOO LONG!!!) to know his menu’s to die for. London critics swoon. Then Opera North at Leeds Grand.  Traviata. Good old weepy. Poor Belly vetoed idea, moaned about expensive kids. I hinted gently, use your catering degree. I’ve only a hairdressing diploma – and look at me, 2 salons, one in the Headrow, one here in Lawnswood.

Fine here. Greg’s internet company leaps ahead. Home office frenetic. I ferry the lad to and from private school - miles away. Only talk to Greg at our business dinners – he’s worn out (in all ways!!) at night.

Luv

21 June 12.52

No my darling. I’m not flying to Toronto, much as I’d love to as it might teach Greg to appreciate me at last!! I’m busy arranging lease of another salon in Otley.

How’s the Tart? Spend, spend, spend on shoes (191 pairs at your last count!), clothes (five crowded wardrobes), travel and dining out four times a week and then whinging you don’t give her enough? Tell her how I scrimp and save - example to her. Like I said beginning of June (wonderful memories!), watch your sprog doesn’t take after her Mum. Greed’s in the genes.  That’s the trouble with our society.

Yes, poor Belly, continually whining about teacher’s pay.  We always said she was daft to marry Alixj, even though he’s got a doctorate in physics. I’m not racist but someone from the East Europe outback shouldn’t expect a top industrial job over our postgrads.

Luv always

25 June  12.15

So I spelt Aleksejs wrong but now he’s living off us he should change it to something we can understand. Researched Latvia.  Tiny. Dull.  No culture – art, music, architecture - nothing. Some weird pagan European festival at midsummer. Dancing all night round a bonfire. Crowns of flowers and oakleaves. Naked swimming at midnight and then couples escape into the forests to search for – wait for it! - fern flowers!! He was lucky to escape to UK.

You’re so right about those foreign universities.  No academic clout. Belly should tell him he’s lucky to get even a teaching post with his accent.  People here don’t want their kids to speak like eastern Europeans. He should take speech therapy.

Luv ya

27 June  13.04

Has Belly emailed abt Aleksejs?

28 June  12.27

No, not a major calamity.

Some wretched girl in the comp accused him of fondling her.  In the lab prep room of all places.

Confirmed by girl’s friends. Suspended.

Kisses

2 July  12.10

Belly not giving you full picture.

I told her to get Alick’s Union onto it.  Surely he’s a member of one, I said.

Greg and I know how important unions are to state teachers.  That’s why they’re so poor at their jobs. Too busy demanding higher pay.

Luv

17 July  13.03

Belly’s in a right state.

Alix approached his Union and they said he knew the dangers and didn’t take precautions. They’ll provide the solicitor but Alix must pay the fees. Alix believes they’re racially prejudiced against teachers from Eastern Europe.

I was tempted to remind Belly it’s hardly surprising when they come over here expecting to take our jobs. But I kept mum. You know how touchy she is.

Is the Tart really off for good this time?

Luv and kisses

25 July  13.44

Met Belly for coffee this morning. Didn’t have the time but I’m loyal to my friends even though it costs me.

Shocking to see how lined her face is now. Spots. Tried to cheer her up, telling her some of my lad’s exploits, but she couldn’t crack a smile. As for clothes!  Why not try Promarks? I suggested, really cheap, but she merely shrugged. 

She said she’d asked you for a loan, and you refused. Quite rightly, in my opinion.

She was very upset, but I reminded her you can’t possibly afford one. Daughter’s schooling. The Tart’s a bottomless pit – sorry to hear she’s back.

Then she asked me.

I said she and Alikj have got my very fullest support but every penny goes into the chain. 2 girls just given notice from the Headrow Studio.  Stupid woman suing because her hair’s turned green. In tufts. I told her it’s the height of fashion, showed her pictures from Green As Grass, the latest organic salon in central London.

What about Greg, Belly asked. I reminded her it’s all reinvested. And we’ve school fees, a couple of Mercs, two four by fours, with fuel through the one pound ceiling. Country house, continual repairs.  Housekeeper, part time cook for business dinners, two gardeners.

Whereas she’s in cheap housing association, no school fees and one old Ford.

I said we don’t loan to friends, causes problems. Neither a borrower nor a lender be.

She moaned about teachers’ pay again.

I let her ramble on, but truth is government inspectors reckon a third of all state teachers are so poor they should be sacked. Children’s education suffering. That’s why we’re independent. Nice little school, small classes, caring staff.

But you daren’t be critical of state education to Belly. So I merely said sympathetically it can’t be good for her eldest in the same school as her Dad, now he’s under such a cloud.

She started crying then. The kids are in hell, she said. Everyone thinks Alics is guilty.

I hate manipulative crying, though I’ll say on Belly’s behalf it’s not a ploy she generally uses. I said I was standing by her whatever, always her friend, and I’m sure things will look up for them soon. I’m thinking and praying for her. We all are. Your brother too.

She was very rude about you - I won’t repeat.

But don’t give up on her.  She doesn’t realise just how offensive she is sometimes. She’s always been unstable mentally, hasn’t she? We must all help her pull through.

Luv as ever and always

Just thought – the husband of Frances FitzHerbert OBE (one of my wealthy clients!) is a consultant psychiatrist. Expensive as sin. But I’ll persuade him to do a cheap one-off for Belly.

8 August  12.13

Last night Belly came round in a terrible state. Just before dinner.  Ten guests due, important and interesting people – so often the two don’t go together.

She’s getting obese. I hinted she could ask my dietary guru for advice but she was apoplectic about your email - you certainly gave it her hot and strong. But you’re right.  She’s got to face up to harsh reality.

She accused me of maligning Aljex to you, because you told her the moral behaviour of Latvians isn’t up to our standards and she should consider seriously the possibility that Alijx is guilty of gross sexual misbehaviour, but that he thinks it’s normal.  I said she could have found that out herself on the Latvian website before she got married.

She went berserk calling me racist!!! Then she screeched you’d written all sorts of lies about the teaching profession and she knew it had come from me! Of course not, I retorted. You know I respect teachers, control yourself, we’ve guests due any minute.

Greg heard her shrieking and arrived half dressed for dinner. She calmed down, told him you advised her to live within her means seeking contentment with what she has, her lovely children, her kind husband, her many possessions. To remember all those people round the world far far worse off – earthquake, war and flood victims. Even in wealthy Leeds she’d find people who envy her good fortune if she took the trouble to think of others. To start saving for the future.  You listed websites giving financial counselling she might like to consider. She was furious.

Greg said it was reasonable advice and showed how concerned you are for her welfare.

I said, learn to cut your coat according to your cloth – good Yorkshire maxim! But Greg said shut up, you’re not helping. I was so angry with him I walked out of the room.  Then I came back because I was worried about Belly.

Greg had an arm round her, can you believe? He’s too compassionate – to other people, I may add!

Greg said I’m hard and we had a right royal row. I was in tears. But she made eyes at Greg and started crying and Greg was all sympathy. Alijks is going back to Latvia. He says this country is rubbish! How rude! She’s at her wits’ end. I said how concerned I am for her and so I’ve arranged for her to see my consultant friend at bargain price.

She stalked out of the room in such a temper that she forgot her jacket and had to return for it. She left as the first of our guests arrived, and I was totally ashamed they had to face such a sourpuss. In rags.  I rushed upstairs to finish changing, leaving Greg to hold the fort. Whole evening ruined.

I’m utterly devastated. Greg’s in a terrible mood. Your sister’s really good at upsetting other people’s marriages. I don’t know how to help her.  But I forgive her and I’ll always be here for her.  Whenever.

Love you, dearest

Email from lounge, London Heathrow. 10 August  13.33

Flight due Toronto Pearson 17.20 your time.